How to Take Someone on a Date (for Dummies)

  1. Pick them up. If you don’t have a car, walk or find some form of transportation at least to their house so they don’t have to come get you. If need be, the girl can drive from there.
  2. Pay. Don’t be cheap ass. Most girls won’t push the price on a first-third date.
  3. If you and this girl are in the process of dating/exclusive in any way/mutually like each other, don’t keep her at arms length. If it feels right, just put your f*cking arm around her or something, please.
  4. In the event that she drove, try really hard not to make her drop you off. Say you can get home from her house. This will (1) possibly get you an invite upstairs, and (2) assure her that you’re not reliant on her taking you everywhere. Hey, she might still offer to drop you off.
  5. Text her afterwards saying you had a good time. Simple.

You’re probably thinking, “gee, Zoe, these are pretty obvious steps!” Well, I wish the entire male race felt the same. One awkward date will easily kill your chances. Don’t skimp details.


The end.


Dream Dinner Date

Have you ever thought about ‘if you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would it be?’

If I could meet, and briefly talk to, anyone in the world, it would be Barack Obama or Paul McCartney. However, if I could sit down over a plate of pineapple fried rice (my favorite dinner dish) and a glass of Merlot, it would be Philip Seymour Hoffman.

The first movie I ever saw him in was Along Came Polly, ya know, that mediocre rom-com with JenAn and Ben Stiller? He played a flamboyant child-star who is stuck in his glory days. I automatically had him pinned as a random one-hit actor who might appear as a guest start occasionally but never really make it big… this was before I was ever immersed in movies and culture. The next few years prior I began to gain more insight into movies, music, culture, etc. and I realized what an incredible human being Mr. Hoffman was.

Capote and The Master hold spots in my heart as some of the most insightful films I have ever seen. Philip Seymour Hoffman carries himself with such prestige and professionalism in both rolls, I can not even begin to explain. I could go on forever discussing both movies, but that is aside the point of this entry.

Honestly, I don’t exactly know how to discuss exactly why I want to have dinner with this virtuoso, he just seems so intelligent and astute.

This post was a little prosaic, but I felt the need to discuss it. Have a good day.