How to Take Someone on a Date (for Dummies)

  1. Pick them up. If you don’t have a car, walk or find some form of transportation at least to their house so they don’t have to come get you. If need be, the girl can drive from there.
  2. Pay. Don’t be cheap ass. Most girls won’t push the price on a first-third date.
  3. If you and this girl are in the process of dating/exclusive in any way/mutually like each other, don’t keep her at arms length. If it feels right, just put your f*cking arm around her or something, please.
  4. In the event that she drove, try really hard not to make her drop you off. Say you can get home from her house. This will (1) possibly get you an invite upstairs, and (2) assure her that you’re not reliant on her taking you everywhere. Hey, she might still offer to drop you off.
  5. Text her afterwards saying you had a good time. Simple.

You’re probably thinking, “gee, Zoe, these are pretty obvious steps!” Well, I wish the entire male race felt the same. One awkward date will easily kill your chances. Don’t skimp details.


The end.