Finding the Best Possible Alarm (Ever!)

So, I’m not a morning person. I’m not even a sleeping person. I don’t sleep nearly as much as I should because I always find better things to do (my mom is concerned).

This may just be some fault in my iPhone 5, but I swear my alarms (using the built in Apple alarm app) haven’t been going off the past couple of days. The only reason I doubt myself is because I have a history of waking up, turning off my alarm, falling back asleep, then waking up later and forgetting that it ever went off in the first place. But no, I’m puhRIT-y sure my alarms have not been going off.

This is obviously a problem – what if you have something important to get to, like class?! Haha, yeah right. Anyways, I do like to be woken up eventually, and I simply have not been. 

I just spend a good hour online and in the iPhone app store trying to find THE BEST alarm app; this was some tough work, guys. Now, seeing that I have $6 to my name, I wasn’t real keen on spending any money on an app; however, I figured that being woken up effectively was probably more important than $1.99. Plus, you never really know what you’re going to get with this cheap shit probably created by some random in the outskirts of Iceland using an original 1984 Macintosh…

For your viewing pleasure.

What are some key features in an alarm clock, you ask? Well first, you must be able to customize your own alarm sound from your iTunes, no one wants to listen to “classic telephone” or “intergalactic radio” every time they arise from their deep slumber.

Second, you must be able to close the app (meaning when you double-click the home button, hold down any app, then click the little delete button when they start jiggling), a lot of alarms wont let you do this, this saves battery and I do it quite religiously… aint nobody got time fo figuring out which apps can close and which ones can’t!

Third, the app must work on the lock screen. C’mon guys… Do we really have to keep our phones unlocked all night just so the alarm can go off? That should be a simple one.

Fourth, the app really should be able to work even if your phone is set to silent/vibrate (the little switch on the side is pressed down). Alarms should naturally override any silent setting; I understand wanting your phone to be silent or only vibrate throughout the day, but why the hell would you even have an alarm if you wanted it to be silent? Yeah, pointless. 

Enough of this cheap, half-ass bullshit, we are tax-payers and we want to efficiently wake up every morning!! So someone, please, make a free, effective alarm app, is it really that hard? Do you really want poor college students, like myself, to stress so much over this idea that they feel the need to write an entire blog on it?

I ended up going with Rise, $1.99. It’s aesthetically pleasing, let’s you set your own music, works in the lock screen, etc etc and so forth. We’ll see how it goes… I’m a bit skeptical now.